All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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