woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
