from now on my penis is your penis
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
