I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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