Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
