So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
