i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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