i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
