All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
