also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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