Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
