yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
