dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dear god my vagina.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize