I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream