he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot