Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad