Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
