5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
