Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
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He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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