i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
