ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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