if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
did you just send me my own nude
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
