Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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