I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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