At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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