you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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