I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
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He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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