sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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