I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize