R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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