Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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