Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
