the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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