I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
