Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
