I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
