May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize