i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
