i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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