girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
