Porn is love you can see.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
