I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
