Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
