Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
