I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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