he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
