Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
