she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
