Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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