yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Come see our sink grown plant.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
