You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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