Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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