If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
