she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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