Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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