Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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