i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
