Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
