Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
