id be glad to
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
