Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
