I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think my moral compass just broke
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